


Flooding

by solitarysage



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Childhood Memories, Crumb of comfort at the end, Crying, Emotionally Repressed, Father Figures, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, Langa has been ignoring his emotions, Minor Injuries, bc i don't wanna kill yall, but i wanna put this out before next ep, emotional breakdown, hi langa kinnies, langa misses his dad, like ANY INKLING OF SADNESS, post ep 7, probably could've added more, so it's flooding out now, totally not me projecting, vent fic, who would do such a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29693247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solitarysage/pseuds/solitarysage
Summary: Langa faces his emotions in the aftermath of the fight, and, reasonably, ends up crying.But when you've been dismissing feelings you've had for months and months, crying over one thing can lead to a completely unexpected breakdown over everything that you've been choosing to ignore.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	Flooding

**Author's Note:**

> me: i'm not gonna write renga fluff, I feel like I wouldn't do them justice  
> me randomly at 4AM: how about a langa breakdown fic

Out of all the difficult things Langa had dealt with this afternoon, getting himself to move would, surprisingly, be one of the most challenging.

Because after Reki had faded out of the light of the lamppost, sulking into the darkness like it was _welcoming_ , Langa couldn't imagine moving an inch.

Was this how the first people to see a solar eclipse felt? Seeing something shining so brightly every single day of your life suddenly be consumed by pitch black? All paired with the indescribable fear of not knowing when that sense of familiarity - that light - would come back?

This historical event felt like a very equal comparison in Langa's mind, because, similarly, moments after, a sense of panic had started to arise.

He could feel it, like you'd feel the mountain shake before an avalanche. It was coming.

But he couldn't do this in the middle of the street - No, no, he had to get home. He had to get to his room. Somewhere sheltered, somewhere that it wasn't downpouring, somewhere with a light that wasn't focused on him in that horrible way the streetlight was. This light was like a devilish taunt, a reminder that he was the only one still standing there, in this little chamber that he'd seemed to create for himself.

This thought is what finally got his feet to move.

And move they did - in just seconds the boy was taking off towards his house, throwing himself onto his bike that'd he parked outside Reki's at full force, almost knocking himself and it over in the process. Like he cared. The only thing he cared about now was getting OUT. 

Even driving was an issue. His hands were starting to shake, his vision becoming blurry as his eyes started to cloud with tears, and his mind becoming more and more disoriented by the second. He didn't want to think about anything yet. He'd gone this long without letting his emotions get the best of him, who's to say he couldn't keep it up for another 5 minutes?

Surprisingly, he was true to himself in this statement, as he was able to pull up in front of his house before any sort of real breakdown started. But the street was muddied from the storm, causing his bike to skid as he attempted to pivot into his front yard. 

Instead of making a smooth turn, the bike totally gave up, the grit it'd picked up proving to be just a bit too much. Langa got thrown off, but at this point he wasn't even trying to hold on. His hands had that feeling where it seemed impossible to make a fist - they were tingling with pins and needles he'd been holding on so tightly - but now, in this state, he just didn't care enough. The emotions he'd been avoiding were coming after him in waves, the first one hitting right there and then, the moment the bike had started to flip. And when the wave crashed down, so did Langa - right into the path leading up to his front door. 

And once again, he felt like he couldn't move. Why get up now? He'd have to come inside and act casually, seeing as his poor mother was probably already stressed from her undoubtedly busy work day, and he'd have to lie to her. Not just about how he was feeling, because now that he was covered in scrapes from his collision with the ground, he was bound to get questioned about that, too. 

So he just stayed there.

That's when the second wave hit. 

Everything Reki had said in the fight painfully pushed it's way back into Langa's thoughts, and even though he could only hear the echoes of his words, it felt like they were being screamed into his ears. 

"It just means you're gonna break the promise with me, right?" 

Langa squeezed his eyes shut, feeling water run down his cheeks, knowing full well it was more from his own tears than the downpour. 

He didn't want to hurt Reki. Of course he didn't. And of course he remembered the promise - why else would he have waited to join Adam's tournament? Sure, he could've pressed the button to join, it was so close, so easy, but he didn't. He'd wanted to talk to Reki about it first. So that's what he went to do. If he'd known this would've been the outcome, he wouldn't have brought it up at all.

"You know how much I hate him."

His chest tightened as another quote screamed itself at him.

"You and Adam are nothing like me. Nothing like me."

_Does he think of us on the same level?_

"-I hate him-"

"-You and Adam-"

"-Hate-"

"-You-"

Langa knew that he was twisting his words, but...was he really? Reki had bunched him and Adam together, calling them "crazy geniuses" and saying that he was "nothing like them." But surely, Reki knew that Langa would never do something to hurt him like Adam did. But Adam was also an bizarrely good skater, Reki knew that, right? So why...? Why didn't he get excited? Yes, he'd gotten an injury, which Langa had been horrified about, but the other boy had gotten back on his board so quickly...he'd been so fast in reassuring Langa that he was alright. He'd said it over and over and over again...why would he suddenly change his outlook? Why was he so _angry?_ Langa's confusion grew deeper with each new contradiction that formed in his head. And, man, was his head throbbing.

Langa sat up, violently shoving his hands into his face in an attempt to wipe away the steady stream of tears that had been spilling from his pale blue - now a bit reddened - eyes.

God, the last time he'd cried this much was...

was when...

He choked back a sob, and the third wave had hit. He was thinking, _really thinking_ , about his Dad for the first time in months. He could still see him so clearly in his mind - he made sure to look at the photo he had of him often, not wanting to forget a single detail. The giant grin he always carried like he was the luckiest man alive, the way he would chuckle when Langa attempted snow-related jokes (only after being prompted by his Mom, how evil of her to embarrass him like this, setting him up for failure!), how his eyes shone with such a proud glow whenever Langa would pull off an particularly outstanding trick. Leave it to Dad to relentlessly praise him for all his accomplishments. In snowboarding, school, social life...

but now he couldn't.

Never again would Langa be able to turn and see his face filled that overwhelming pride that he never seemed to run out of. His father would never see him win a competition again, never see him graduate, never see him get married, all his future accomplishments would be accompanied by an emptiness that no matter how hard he tried to fill, it seemed like he couldn't. 

His mother had tried, she was always just as proud of Langa as his father was, but his father really took the spotlight when it came to his passion - snowboarding. His mother understood it a bit less, cheering on his tricks but never truly knowing the full depth of what Langa was doing. If he'd practiced a trick for weeks on end, she would be proud and reward him with warm compliments, like always. But it was the same thing if he accomplished a trick he'd been perfecting for MONTHS...of course he didn't blame his mother one bit for not being deeply involved in all of the ins and outs of snowboarding - But his father just _got it._ He knew everything there was to know.

The only person that had made him feel remotely the same way, was, well, Reki.

Hearing Reki's praise was like being wrapped up in a familiar hug. He was always so genuine, so obvious with his excitement - and he UNDERSTOOD. He understood when Langa told him how he was struggling to do an skateboarding ollie because of the differences it had to a snowboarding ollie - and he praised him for it endlessly once he did it right. He understood exactly what type of board Langa needed for his full potential to shine though, and he MADE it for him. He understood everything Langa wanted to say about his own skateboarding - and all just by WATCHING him do it. And Langa thought that was amazing.

But...

he was gone now too, wasn't he?

Except...not yet, right? Langa could still get a hold of him.

He could fix it before they started to drift apart...it wasn't hopeless yet. It hadn't been that long since he'd left the Kyan's - maybe Reki hadn't had enough time to develop a true hatred towards him yet.

Langa was desperate as he pulled out his phone from his pocket, barely able to get the password to register with his soaked hands.

Quickly going into the texts app, he hovered over the message bar.

What in the world is someone supposed to say in this situation? Clearly Langa didn't know, judging by the reaction he had elicited from Reki with his previous words.

He decided to start off simple.

_Reki?_

No way he would respond to something like that. He was so upset when they last spoke.

_Reki, I really want to talk to you._

Was he being impulsive? Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

_Please answer me. I'm worried about what you might be thinking._

Was this what he was supposed to do before Reki had a chance to leave? Were these the things he was supposed to say? He didn't know. 

Langa's fingers were shaking horribly as he continued to type the only thing that was ringing in his mind at this point,

_"I'm sorry."_

And he was.

_"I'm sorry."_

He really was.

_"I'm sorry."_

Not exactly sure what for,

_"I'm sorry."_

But Reki's face, god, the cracks in his voice while they were fighting,

_"I'm sorry."_

It was enough for Langa to know that he WAS sorry.

_"I'm sorry."_

He was sorry for being any part of the reason why Reki had crumpled up into himself the way he did.

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry._

He was sorry for being the moon in his solar eclipse.

The sudden darkness of Langa's phone screen was a surprise to him, and not a welcome one. His phone had died. Apparently the boy had been texting Reki for a WHILE, half of that time probably consisting of the "sorry" spam - and it'd been steadily draining his battery the whole time.

After staring at the blank screen for a good twenty seconds, Langa placed his phone down next to him.

Slowly, he slumped back onto the ground, ignoring how the rain was pelting into his face.

The final wave hit.

But this time Langa just cried.

He cried so hard that he couldn't breathe, choking on his own tears, blinking rapidly as he went back and forth from staring into the sky to shutting his eyes and just wanting the entire world to fade away. He had been **so** numb for **so** long that he ended up having everything dumped on him at once, the big two being his unearthed misery about his dad and his fear of him and Reki's friendship following the same fate, but every other little thing that he shouldn't have even given a second thought to was suddenly making itself known in his memory. A moment three days ago where he'd tripped over himself at school, a moment two weeks ago where he burned a meal he'd been making for his mother and then she'd had to eat reheated leftovers, a moment MONTHS ago when he'd BUMPED INTO SOMEONE and torn one of his favorite shirts, just a bit. None of these events were worth crying over, but in this moment, they were piling on. So Langa did cry. He cried, and cried and cried and _cried_ until even the downpour had calmed, until he was so tired that he felt himself drifting off, mind finally quieting after what felt like hours of it being on overdrive.

This is where Langa's mother found him.

Twenty minutes later and Langa had been tucked into bed by a concerned parent, of course having dried him off and changed him into warm clothes beforehand.

On the table beside his bed, Langa's phone buzzed, finally charged enough to have turned back on.

He'd only missed one notification in all the time that'd passed.

_REKI :)_ **:**

_one missed call_


End file.
